There is a really interesting dialogue going on over at Relevant Magazine’s site. Cole NeSmith has written an article called, “The Dangers of Emotional Pornography”. In it he says, “We’re taught to crave the moment of romantic ecstasy or to live for the wedding day.” This topic is near and dear to my heart, because I have been upset about the way love is portrayed in movies, these days. (Which makes it really hard, considering I’ve been a lifelong fan of the chick flick.) So, instead of re-saying everything Mr. NeSmith has said, you can read it here. (The continuing discussion is worth a little perusing as well.)
I think we’ve all gotten tired of the happily ever after wedding ending, but as a culture (or maybe as movie makers) we’ve yet to come up with a good solution. In movies where it is more about the journey than the ending, there seems to be a voracious co-dependence. (One that I do not want my daughter, who is already a hopeless romantic, to witness.) I think, this has happened because of our addiction to sensationalism. If we can’t have the BIG ending, then we want the BIG emotional rollercoaster that swallows the two people whole.
Of course, it is so easy to be judgemental from this side of the screen. I have no idea what sort of discussions, director choices, production money played a role in the finished product. And, to be fair, culture (even movie culture) does not turn on a dime. There are attempts being made, and I think we are too early in the game to say, “That’s not quite it.” I do hope that we continue to move towards a portrayal of love that shows the beauty of the everyday choice. Anyone can see the beauty in the grand gesture, but it is a true work of art when we are able to unveil the beauty of the everyday. A good example of this is in photography, everyone knows we’re supposed to take pictures of the sun setting on the horizon, but it’s the true artist that can focus on the simplicity of a leaf, and make it a masterpiece.
I have hope. Here are some of the things that fuel my hope:
* Paper Heart It’s a fun movie that explores love, and has glimpses of this. (I don’t wholeheartedly agree with it, but I like the discussion it represents, and I love the way the Indy world de-sensationalizes love.)
*A great blog that speaks about choices is this one at Gypsy Mama.
*And, for a real life example, this morning, my husband woke with the kids, fed them, and then brought me coffee in bed (he does this everyday). That looks a little bit like a leaf that needs to be made into a masterpiece, doesn’t it?